“create” june 17, 1991 8:45am

creativity or perhaps more profound-“creative individualism”-is a search; directed, exaggerated, fabricated; the emancipation of self and its awareness, authority, controls, limits narrowness and society’s restraints. it is intellectual pushing, shoving, jumping in the middle, to reach one’s own beyonds and yet still further reach for the unknown edge. to be on the edge, to make one’s own reality, to exhaust every possible avenue of expression, means, goals, to challenge the pure essence of life and yes even death. it is “the death of the self” that forwards and promotes onwardness, forwardness, the invention of the new world, its meanings and its beyonds. each word becomes death and dies so the following one can live and develop its own meaning of individualism. it is the making of a new horizon, boundless territory, virgin bloodless ground that is sought. it is to ignite the mere soul, to burn from within, to capture life itself and then to release it, dismantle the birdcage and allow the full beauty in the freedom of flight. it is to make dreams creamy, mellow yellow or to walk on hot scorching coals that scar the already scarred tissue of desire, passion…to wrestle with obscurity, to tangle with opposites, to define a new alphabet, escape the ordinary, redefine the forevers of tomorrow, bring to life a meaning that has never yet been felt and triumph from it, to be the magician—preform the magic—be the warrior and escape and evade death itself and bring the mind to that of the rainbow, multicolored and endless. it is the creativity that seems effortless, the perfection of illusion that is what it is all for and about. the simpler the better….less is more…more is too complicated and far less. the fact remains that the most simplest form is the most difficult to achieve and in order to attain freedom, discipline is a severe ingredient, no matter what we are taught. the fuel that feeds creativity is profound and sheer heart ache, brick by brick, layer upon layer; it is failure that is what success is built on. the restlessness of the heart, its loves, passions, desires and friendships alone make the process take fold. to kiss the lips of death “herself” is the ache, the pain and the tearing of the flesh loved heart. profound beyond “profound love” is most definitely pivotal/essential. it is the imperfection of that love, that is so dishearteningly dampened and the struggle to secure it becomes a battle of a life time. to define love is like to define death; there are no perimeters: only the aches of heart beats that center themselves in the manifestation of the creative process. to love, is to surrender; full surrender is the acceptance of suffering, defeat, pain and failure. it needs to be viewed not as “negative or depressive,” but observed as being “positive”….dealing, handling, using the process to fuel the creative appetite….no matter how excruciating. the process is only achieved through discipline and time….short, long, whatever the duration; it is time that makes us what we are and thus how we develop into ourselves as to achieve the voice that feels and welcomes our words: making us whole, “once more again.” if we stand still, we are motionless and take no risks. risks, uncertainty and danger, is the question that creativity represents.
it is to act intuitively, not instinctively, that brings the creative mind to a higher law than what most are accustomed. that law is “love,” which is tolerance, suffering, and allows all to be as they are…..it is the true meaning and essence of sacrifice.
creativity is love
love should be creativity
life is art
art is life
art and love is full and total surrender

“there are many emotions now” -af/copyright-2016

there are many emotions
that flow from within me
now
I have always, most of the time: thought, contemplated the fact
that you are a “bud” of that flower
that seeds itself, hopingly in spring
which attempts to bloom with the magnificent
flowers which peddles try to reach the sun
of which are so transparent
from your brilliant, glorious, colors
shine as to show your compassionate soul
your love of life and a smile
that brings the cruelest of worlds
to their knees and bless the fact
you graced their life
it is the fall, now…winter approaches
to dissolve, wade your brilliance
and disburse  you to the earth below
leaving a touched, profuse, memory
to any who have discovered and
not to mention who have known you!
you are my high air winged sky hawk bird
above me now that I whistle for you to come
to me
you are such a magnificent creature
so very high above me
that starts to descend upon me
yet almost untouchable
and yet I have kissed the air above you
so few times
but you are alive and fighting for your life
as the wind causes thermals for you
glide higher and begin to leave
you must always remember
you are my lofty air winged
beautiful magnificent thing
I admit confess seem you glide in
thermals so strong and you manage
to stay aloft with your glide
TO TOUCH YOUR WINGS ONE MORE TIME
WOULD BE SO MORE HEART FELT…
BEFORE I DIE!!!
I now realize and surely know something
that caused such a demanding
feeling that so many times I could not imagine
yet speak or even write about
nor perhaps witness in myself as real now
unlike a dream
it is the truth and reality that sets in
this house frame and body of mine
that observation and cruel faithless part of life
is that I am dying from the inside out