in time at this moment
as I sit down
caressed in the thought
and image of you
the time is young between us
you and I
I discovered you
found you
and yet I knew you before
we met
I am compelled to write this
for you are the occupation of my thoughts
my heart does not sing much
for it is not a casual one
this heart of mine
but it is from your inspiration
the child, the girl, the woman,
the soul/heart, the passionate self,
the desire to discover, the intelligence of the mind
that you seek
a voice of quiet and calm that is heard
from me
the funny, the silly, the laugh
that provides me with these words
and yet
brings me forward to you
as a breath of fresh air
with your windows and doors wide open
to want to see your dreams, desires
all your adventures
come true
and always be open to you
once I wrote
” what about that”
and even more
it seems I could look into your eyes
and never see the same thing twice
to myself “never to see” 2014
to myself at that moment I spoke, deeply;
questions of my unanswered desires,
dreams, emotions, and maybe what else?
my faith, my strength, a life
i so tried as i became older in attempting
to live a life with grace/humility
what about that?
the thoughts of your moonlit skin,
your mouth moist as you hesitated in your speech
your eyes openly wide looking
as they penetrated deep
within my past, my present and my future
with their glow
what about that?
maybe wondering about the ship
that sailed into the dark fathomless nights,
never to see, never to return at the break of day
what about that
i ask now
the mirror cracked-splintered-shattered into fragments
that even the most faithful soul refuses to make whole again
for they the pieces strewn in all directions
that the life puzzle could never be put back
what about that
on the same day i covered you with roses
i buried you in snow drifts
only my eyes covered you in rain
only clouds cast their ashes, a wilderness
upon my soul
my secrets that haunted me more than not
my glory that somehow defeated me
a blue harsh light that shines on the opposite
eyes of one’s soul
a ship boundless to perhaps nowhere
sailing miles crashing shore waves in endless tides
pulverizing the sands of my thoughts
and i ask again
what about that, i ask?
“I know what it is”…now 2012
” I feel different about you now”…she said after I left that morning
I did not understand and yet I did, but said to myself, different how?
for me it made a difference, so I wrote this:
“I know now what it is”
I know now what it is about her
I kiss your mouth and you to me
soft, gentle, slow and then, more and more
and beyond that even, even beyond more than even
that is of my passion, my expression
as a man, an artist, the pure essence of my romanticism
to kiss her belly, your belly
is the magnificence of your being
it is of your woman hood and from where I came
to be born
the pure essence of your soul and the pulse beat
from where I touch and kiss
the everlasting intoxication, the mere beauty of you as a woman
that I cherish
it is the respect of you that I kiss; you there; any where
it is my being, my humanness, the soul of my soul
the love for you
that I kiss you there
and how and why and because
I kiss so tenderly and gentle
it is the celebration of that kiss, that caress
that from you I am alive, you are that of my
inspiration, my inner strength, my gentleness
my devoted expression of self that I attempt
to forward and give to you
a footprint that….
comes sometimes the surprise
when we feel the footprint
a footprint that
leaves us in a memory
that just happened
a found memory
a warm and gentle
soft and quiet
easy and yet calm
and a mind filled with thoughts
that caress us and the depths of the universe
a universe that could explode
from a million stars born
where clouds and sky clear
from storms of past
where water purifies
itself from the beneath rocky sands
where tiny spouts of flower grows
in spring to see their pedals form
and later
sometime soon
the bud that housed this
flower blooms in golden sunlight
fresh, glorious in such color
brilliantly gracing the sky above
and it was I that felt so surprised
sometimes
sometimes love is only on the moon
and I sit here in this lonely room
thinking deep
thinking
more deeper than ever deep
beyond that ever you know about deep
even more greater than any deepness
or depth for that matter
I reach out to touch you only
and deep in touch only
to reveal my passion
to caress the most very essence
of you
to embrace your body and hold it
gently tight as no man ever has
as if it were the last time for me
as if the universe gave birth to a billion stars
I would do so gently
to kiss your eyes your month
your face the entire being of you
and you to know that
I adore you so
and so the universe bursts into
a trillion stars that light up the night
but the distance is so great
greater than what great could be
beyond what great could imagine
and I miss you
beyond miss greater than miss
so missing you that my heart cries
weeps your mind funny, your smell
around your neck
and even more profoundly
your undoubted love for me
perhaps could be maybe be
should be for as ever long
but at least to have known
and yet remember I had touched you
in a deepest depths as never before felt
which humbles me even more
than even the most of humble
and even more than could be
that we are
there are times more than not
that we are
encompassed in a world that is difficult to understand
thus we are rocketed/shuttled to places
that challenge us or perhaps even attempt
to realign our lives around them
however, we should embrace ourselves
so we can take hold of what is trying to surround us
as to better understand what it is that we so desire.
it is the balance and the achievement
of the equaling of ourselves that forwards us to a place of where,
now, how and why.
it is freighting to investigate, to challenge,
to change our course, to expand or grow
yet explore the unknown to finally perhaps reach
our goals, dreams, aspirations and desires,
thus attempting us to achieve the fruition
of such welcomed self awareness.
our eyes see…..
our minds question
and once in a great while
our hearts get bruised, fractured and splintered
so to carry the burden of non exploration
becomes a factor that most likely could or will
haunt us for a life time
for at best, at least , at most, at worst, bit by bit, by degrees
it seemed that way
copyright/af 05/31/2013
you are the whispers of my soul
you are the whispers to my soul
a soul deep ascending far beyond any cloud
a soul that could shake mountains
but desires the calm
a calm that I hope to bring you
from whispers like fathomless oceans
caresses of sweet roses and jasmine
which permeate you heart your mind your body
tides of waters deep in your eyes
lips smooth and wet
waiting for that first kiss
a laugh that goes for ever
happiness that brings you peace
a smile that lightens the world to see
a mind that inspires others and you
a caring that could cure the world
and give meaning to fairness in all its freedoms
relief series for concrete casting, 1986
“the balanced man”
“balanced man” june 19, 1991 3:00pm
the balanced man takes whatever is in his stride of equilibrium and measure: consumes only what he can digest……………………………………..
what about the unbalanced man: balance is what he can not, consumes each inch around him and measure is not in his vocabulary; except when inches determine what he must create and build next. is this man empty of spirit; not religious; not whole? does he not make the paths of travel for himself; is his heart the navigator of his being or is he of shallow mind which is non-illuminated and non-productive? is this man terrified….slipping away from the light into darkness, from seen to the unseen and is he a man who does not have war with or within himself? is he the man who realizes the deeper process of his inward convictions; that truth is a paradox and that he is a refugee in the world in which he lives? does his freedom derive from balance, discipline and the illumination of life’s experiences? can he stand alone, be his own healer and not be horrified, paralyzed or assaulted about his aloneness? is this man afraid to step out of the “middle ages” and enter and make known his awareness in the new “age”! does this man understand crucifixion, what the differences are between it being understood symbolically, from literally..does he? and does he have unlimited circulation of his mind, his heart, his life; everything? and does this man test himself; and from his awareness does he sleep more soundly; does he get beyond phantasy and dreams once he awakens…….does he?????dialogue inspired: henry miller; “wisdom of the heart” references to; from; by; e. graham howe
in all my desirers 2010-august
you are the voice in the coal black night
the laughter, the calmness, the touch
which brings my soul/heart to this place
that place never before realized
that feeling never captured or executed
and now you eclipse my soul with your being
I am in the fathomless depths of you, I am
I waited a life time to enjoy you
to be with you
to touch and caress the very soul of you
I most certainly have
many times I lost my way
so often I drifted so far away
and now you bring me the calm
the peace, the honor the respect of you
that I so contemplated, anticipated, longed for
in all my dreams and desires
and finally ” you bring me “home”
to a place I so wish to stay
to/for “mary”
af/copyright
08/13/2010